so...I shared an intense experience earlier today. this beautiful woman I know (acquaintance) had to be sexually rehabilitated by her longlost boyfriend. she had been sexually abused as a child and teenager, and her current experience of sex was extremely fragmented, painful, traumatic, detached, inevitably violent.
so that was an 'interesting' section of my life/my bed is all undone and my heart is broken in half and served up on a plate like john the baptist and it's hard to trust and want to but can't quite make it
and I feel like I don't want to make it after all
it was me with you F, that's how we got through Ibelieve. cause men had hurt us, in different ways so women can be trusted.
some men are ok, would never hurt us, but women are so very rarely dependable in a motherly kind of way
you tried so hard to save that woman who watched you dyin every day but failed to see she was the parent and you were the child
again-- I get that in a way. verbally/emotionally she was/is clocked off and he is only just startin to try. I am 35 years old and they will be dead soon. as Ityped that I imagined you laughing with a little bit of mirth
and then we both wondered if we could trust each other
and the answer, we both know, is YES!!!
*dances at the bronze*
FOR ELIZA, MY SISTAAAA!
music: some shit at the bronze!!